Bring it, 2018

Well, this Christmas break we did a whole lot of NOTHING!

And guess what? It was amazing. For a week straight we laid around, read books, played Gameboy and Atari, played cards and board games, and watched movies.

The boys had their sleepover at Uncle Brian and Aunt Katherine’s place, and they loved it. First sleepover for both. Of course they got to watch TV until 11pm, and when the tacos that Brian had ordered were too spicy, he ordered pizza. And then for breakfast he ordered french toast. So naturally, they didn’t want to come home.

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Jeff and I, however, enjoyed having our place to ourselves. We went on a lovely dinner date and woke up the next morning hearing imaginary little feet on our hardwood floor stomping their way into our bedroom, but there were no such little feet in our apartment. What bliss! There was coffee in bed instead.

This was Julian on the way home from his first sleepover. He was exhausted!

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The next day Julian had a sleepover at his friend Henry’s place. From that, too, my son did not want to return to his home. He stayed for almost 24 hours, which included his favorite dinner (pesto pasta), spaghetti ice cream, Star Wars, audio books, and lots of cuddles.

To soften the blow for our “only child” Arthur that night, we ordered hamburgers and hot dogs and watched the Star Wars episode of his choice (Episode 1 – we must truly love this boy). When I tucked him in that night and cuddled with him for a while, he whispered, “Mama, I don’t know if I am brave enough to sleep alone in my room.” In that moment it occurred to me that my 4 1/2 year old son has never ever spent a night alone in his whole life. Turns out he was brave enough, and tired enough, to sleep a full 12 hours.

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We rang in the new year the only way we know how: with party hats and homemade pizza.

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The boys made it until 10:45pm, at which point our party looked like this:

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And now it is back to school. For one day, that is, as it was just announced that schools are closed tomorrow because of an impending snow storm. These lucky kids. Truthfully though I might be the most excited of us all: I can’t wait to go sledding!

As for the New Year?

Our New Year’s resolution last year was to see more live music, and I think we did:

  • The Decemberists
  • Father John Misty
  • Jason Isbell
  • Aimee Mann
  • Conner Oberst
  • Roger Waters
  • The Shins
  • Alison Krauss
  • Bruce Springsteen
  • Joep Beving

We don’t have any huge resolutions for this year. On the top of my list is to stop yelling. Completely. Julian wants to become a better listener, and Arthur wants to stop biting his nails. Jeff is obviously already perfect the way he is. As for our family, we are embarking on a new project: It’s called “Country of the Month.” In this new adventure we will pick one country per month (the boys have the choice). We will learn about the customs, food, and culture. At the end of the month we go out to a restaurant to enjoy the cuisine of said country. First on the list is India. Next up: Brazil. I’m pretty stoked!

New Year’s Day we had our lovely friends over. We had brunch together; the kids played.

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Then we put on a movie for them and sat talking on the couch for hours. It was so relaxing and so lovely. What a great way to start the new year!

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Bring it, 2018. We were not sad to see 2017 go. We had lots of good times and made some very happy memories, but overall – for this country and the world – it was a very bitter, depressing year, and for us as a family it ended on a sad note. Onward!

Christmas 2017

We started off Christmas break with watching the new Star Wars movie together. Honestly, for the kids the scariest part were the previews. The movie itself was great, and we were all so excited!

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We spent the weekend being cozy inside. Lots of playing, cookie-eating and movie watching.

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On Christmas Eve, we went to see Santa! We go to Macy’s every year (Santa 2014Santa 2015, Santa 2016). This year’s Santa was kind of fierce and gave both boys the “Santa stare.” But for whatever reason they *believed* he was real. In fact, Arthur has been outraged this year, telling everyone who wants to listen that there are people out there in the world who don’t believe in Santa! They think the parents give all the presents! These people must be nuts!

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After Santa time we had lunch together and checked out the train show at Grand Central.

That night we had a lovely dinner at home and got ready for Santa.

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And imagine this! He came! The boys were stoked. He brought them the Rescue Bots station and Rescue Bots they had asked for.

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Mama and Papa gave a few new games, books, and Ghostbuster utility belts.

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Jeff and I gifted each other things from the 70s and 80s…this Springsteen poster, an Atari game console, a Gameboy (my childhood dream come true!) and a couple of (contemporary guitar pedals). We were all so happy and spoiled!

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We had breakfast at home and then packed our bags to head to New Jersey to spend the day with family. When Jeff called the garage to let them know he was coming to pick up our Zipcar (the ONLY one available on Christmas Day in NYC), he was informed that the car had a flat tire. So our collective mood plummeted. The boys were in tears. They really wanted to see their cousins.

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Jeff was in an even worse mood and became increasingly stubborn and refused to consider alternative ways to get to New Jersey. So I made a decision and made him change direction, and we made it work. So off we went on the Subway, the PATH, and New Jersey Transit. We played cards, napped, and listened to music. Our brother-in-law picked us up in Trenton, and in the end all was well.

We were together.

Later that night we exchanged gifts and sang karaoke. I mean…Endless Love forever, right? I’m not embarrassed.

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Yesterday we were happy to come back home and continue playing with all of our new toys.

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I look forward to a week at home with my guys. We don’t have any big plans, but the boys were invited to a sleepover at Uncle Brian’s house tonight! They are super excited.

So thankful for everything we have this Christmas.

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For kicks, Christmas 2014Christmas 2015 and Christmas 2016.

 

More Time

In case you’re feeling anything like us these days (tired, lacking patience, frustrated, generally bummed and also freezing), I thought I’d offer a few things that make me happy. For starters, this guy:

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Arthur and his Santa hat! He’s pretty committed to the hat this year, much to the delight of all the kids in his school as well as random passersby. And us, of course.

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Julian’s school photos. I mean! That kid. He has the most gorgeous smile, but he is absolutely incapable of smiling on command.

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Cookies! They make everyone feel better, right?

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Glühwein. Same as above. But no pictures, because we were busy trying not to let the kids spill our Glühwein.

Also: friends. I’m so thankful for our friends and family. The boys have been going on playdates, birthday parties, and we’ve hosted some friends at our place as well. Drop off dates are more frequent now, leaving Jeff and me with good chunks of time to ourselves on the weekends. This is the future, perhaps?

Also, can I just talk about time for a second here? I just wish I had more. My biggest struggle is getting places on time. I know many people anticipate the end of summer when the kids return to school and everything becomes more scheduled and predictable, but man, I miss those days so much. I love lazy days, hanging out at the playground or going on adventures with my boys. The drag of getting them out of bed, eating breakfast before the sun has even risen, and schlepping off to school in these frigid temperatures – just not my cup of tea. But that is life. Also, can we talk about how s.l.o.w. children walk once there is snow on the ground?!

This week marked three months since I’ve returned to work. My husband sent me flowers!

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But yes, we’re still adjusting. I love the work and my team, but the amount of tired I feel at night cannot be underestimated. It’s totally worth it though, because overall we’re all thriving, and I’m so happy that I have found this new, unexpected outlet that I didn’t even think I needed.

Meanwhile, these boys have high hopes for Christmas. Their letter is on the way…”We were good!” I’ll have to take their word for it.

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Winter is Coming

Just kidding. It’s here.

The weather is changing, and we’ve been laying low. Gone are the days of endless bike rides and picnics. And for now, I am fine with that. These are the days of chess and reading, apple cider and muffins, meatloaf and red wine. I quickly moved onto food stuff there.

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The boys and I have been watching the 1955 movie “Sissi” with Romy Schneider. I thought they would get bored pretty much right away, but instead, they are captivated. The romance and love and humor is not lost on them. Last night, on the couch, Julian said, “Mama, ich bin so verliebt in dich.” Sissi is working. If you’re not German or Austrian, you probably don’t know what I’m talking about. Moving on. (Also: naps.)

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On Friday we had the annual St. Martin lantern walk with Arthur’s pre-school. They changed location last minute, so instead of walking along the gorgeous Brooklyn Heights Promenade, we found ourselves stumbling through a pitch black Prospect Park. Winter had suddenly arrived, and everyone was freezing. We took the boys out for pizza promptly thereafter. I mean, look at these faces.

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On Saturday night we drove to Asbury Park, NJ and spent the night celebrating my brother-in-law’s birthday at this incredible pinball arcade. It was fantastic!

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Last weekend the boys rode their own bikes all the way to Red Hood. It was a big deal! We had lunch at Brooklyn Crab, and then they rode back. It was getting late, and cold, and all in all they rode a good 5 miles. I was so impressed! Jeff’s bike looks so empty without those extra 90 pounds on the back.

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We’re trying to settle into more indoor time – which sometimes leads to endless bickering between the boys. But also to sweet moments, laziness, lots of reading, and dancing in the kitchen.

Last night Julian and I danced to Bruce Springsteen’s “The Wish” in our kitchen, which is very apropos if you know the song. He held my hand just the right way and twirled me around, even though I had to bend down a lot. I hope he’ll want to dance with me for many years to come. (Tomorrow night Jeff and I will be seeing Bruce on Broadway. I’m soooo excited!)

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Oh, Vienna

We had a wonderful week in beautiful Vienna. The weather was perfect, the Schnitzel even more so, and everyone was happy.

My parents met us there and stayed in the same hotel as us. We had nice suite for our family of four, and the boys had their separate room. It was right in the city center, so we could walk everywhere. Of course sometimes we took the subway or the tram, which were huge highlights for our public transportation loving boys. Julian figured out the subway system in no time.

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Every day we started slow in our hotel with breakfast, journalling, and cartoons, and then we headed out for a day of exploring and lots of walking.

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The boys were such troopers. We walked all day. When we checked, our phones told us that we walked between 15,000 and 18,000 steps each day.

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Highlights for us were: Haus der Musik, where we went on our first day. It was so fun and interactive.

Schloss Schönbrunn, the parks, and the zoo. It was hands down the best zoo we had ever been to.

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Other than that I believe we saw all the important castles and churches and ate all the Schnitzel. Vienna is truly breathtaking. I loved wandering around and just stumbling upon yet another beautiful building. There are so many. The Museum of Natural History was also amazing.

The boys discovered Apfelschorle (apple juice and sparkling water), or Apfelsaft gespritzt, as the Viennese say. Julian fell in love with Schnitzel, and we all ate lots of ice cream. Oh, and there was some beer.

It was an all around enjoyable family vacation. I was blown away by how flexible and overall well behaved the boys were. Lots of walking, little sleep, no schedules, late nights, lots of restaurants. They handled it all really well. I was relieved. And it was great to see them with my Dad. Even thought they don’t see each other as much as we’d all like, they are never shy or strange around him. I guess that’s family for ya.

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The flight home was a bite intense I will say. Our first flight was delayed, and we would have missed our connecting flight in Amsterdam, and so we were re-booked on Air France (which was welcome because of free Champagne), but it meant a later arrival time in New York. Arthur had caught a cold, and his bad mama forgot to pack his inhaler and so spent a good amount of time counting his many (rapid) breaths per minute as he snoozed on the plane. In the end, he was fine. Julian didn’t sleep at all and spent hours on the plane watching the Lego Batman movie (3 times I think?) and playing chess against the computer. When we arrived at JFK he sat down next to Arthur on the floor as we waited for a car – and fell asleep. It was 4:30am Vienna time.

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It’s taken us about a week to get over our jet lag, and we miss Opa already. We miss the walks and croissants, the decadent lunches and dinners, and the freedom of going wherever we pleased. Vienna was a dream, and I hope we can return one day.

Full Disclosure

Do you ever feel like your feet are floating just a few inches above ground? Like you’re really trying to stand firmly, securely, but nonetheless you’re kind of up there, out there?

That’s how I feel right now. The news. Las Vegas. Our…”president”…(I still can’t say it) in Puerto Rico tossing paper towels to hurricane survivors.

Then today, after I’d picked up the boys from school, a young person, 20 years old, had jumped in front of a train. We just arrived at the train station in time to see everyone being ushered out. Dozens of emergency vehicles on site, and the smell. I’m not sure what it was. Burned rubber? The smell of emergency brakes? Random people were telling me what had happened, and I just said, “Please stop talking about it” while gesturing towards my young kids. Of course it was too late. They’d heard.

We took the bus home. And we talked about how the firefighters arrived to rescue the person from the tracks. Unfortunately we could relate to it on a much lighter level, as Arthur’s scooter had rolled onto the tracks just two weeks prior. It was a huge deal, a huge lesson learned, many tears, and lots of sweat. Arthur was fine, the trains were fine, and – after an hour of waiting for someone to retrieve it – even the scooter was fine.

But what I know, and what my kids don’t, is that some young kid couldn’t bear it anymore and jumped onto the tracks today. And some poor train driver’s life will be forever changed because of it.

I just cant’t shake it. It was too close, too real. Sometimes it just all seems like too much.

But I have my two boys. Two boys I’d promised to take to the park to play soccer this afternoon. So after school, we played. They were both sporting their new Manuel Neuer jerseys that they’d saved their money for for months, and they were so proud. Another (older) boy joined the game, and it was fun.

Also, I’ve really been struggling with making sure to get Arthur’s needs met. With work, school, after school activities, and all that, I still have to fit in three weekly therapy sessions, which is soon to be four. He qualified for occupational therapy earlier this year, and while I thought/hoped he would outgrow his needs and delays, it’s really apparent that he needs a little more extra help. I’m so grateful for the network we have here, but I am also a bit upset when seeing that time with my children is just slipping away. The Fridays I don’t work are special to me. I spend my day with Arthur, doing a week’s worth of laundry, cuddling, playing games, eating croissants. Now the bulk of our day will be spent going to therapy appointments. I will just bite my lip and make it fun. If I can package it as a playdate of sorts, I consider it a win.

Speaking of playdates, Arthur has finally found a friend. He’s come a long way, and my heart bursts when I see him talking to kids on the playground. So happy. And yes, my kids are dressed in soccer jerseys 80% of the time. Germany all the way, baby.

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This weekend we drove 15 hours total, back and forth to a wedding in Pennsylvania, which was a big pain. But we managed to see some dear friends along the way, and it was an opportunity to see family and dress snazzy. I mean…right?

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Also, we danced our way into oblivion at the reception. My brother-in-law just sent me this photo with the caption “I guess he loves you.” And so it is.

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And here are my boys from this morning, hugging good-bye, as they do every morning.

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With that I have to remind myself that while all is not right in the world, and in fact a lot is very, very wrong in the world, there are some things in our worlds that are right and good and pure, and to those things we must cling. (While making sure we change as much of the rest of our world as we can. For the better.)

Coney to the Rescue

After two weeks of being back at work part-time, I have come to the following conclusions:

  • It’s easier to stay at home full time.
  • It’s easier to work full time (this is partly an assumption and partly based on feedback from my full-time working friends).

I really enjoy my new job. It’s fun to get back into the swing of things. I was concerned that over 6+ years of doing mom things, the part of my brain I’d use at work had gone to sleep. Forever, perhaps? But no. I’m wide awake! And I like being around other adults and talking about things that don’t involve my kids.

I don’t love spending 1 1/2 hours every day commuting back and forth, although it gives me time to read – which is always welcome.

When I’m not on the subway, I’m constantly rushing. Rushing to school drop-off, to the subway, to work, to school pick-up, and then I want to go to sleep.

The thing I’m struggling with the most as I’m adjusting to my new life and routines is the fact that I’m tired. Not just physically tired, but also just plain exhausted. My brain is tired. I’m lacking the patience and drive to do fun things with my kids. And that’s sort of a bummer for me because I love nothing more than doing fun things with my kids. It makes me really sad. I think I also just miss summer and the endless opportunities to have adventures.

On Thursday night I sat on the couch and cried. I was too tired to eat dinner, too tired to watch stupid TV, too tired to read. So I went to bed at 9pm. Yesterday (I don’t work Fridays) was spent with the kids, at speech therapy, doing laundry and house stuff, and at a kid birthday party.

Today we had no plans, and no Papa. Jeff had to work (bummer), so when I got up I decided the kids and I needed a day of fun. So we went to our favorite place: Coney Island!

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I needed a day like today. Watching the boys bounce from ride to ride and be so happy and carefree put my heart in its right place.

Back-to-School Feels

The boys are back in school. And I am, well, a bit sad.

In previous summers I think I kind of anticipated this day. By the end, the boys were getting to me, and I was ready. But not this year.

This summer was my favorite summer ever. I loved our trips to the Catskills, California, and the Poconos. I loved hanging out with the boys. They are so fun, so clever, so enjoyable. Sure, they have their moments, but overall they are people whose company I enjoy.

There were good times with friends; date nights with my husband. Arthur learned how to ride his bike; Julian plowed through the Wimpy Kid books. We picked up bagels and lox and ate them at our favorite playground near the Promenade, played on the beach, jumped in the pool and went on rides in Coney Island. We read books, napped, watched TV, watched people from our stoop. I went running. On the last day of summer break, Julian joined me for a run over the Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges. It was my most favorite run ever. Not only did he pump his little legs fast enough to help me keep a good pace, I also loved chatting with him and just having him around. Afterwards, we brought home donuts for breakfast.

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But of course as all summers tend to do, this one ended. The kids returned to school. Julian was very excited; no nerves at all. He had his first day on Tuesday, which began with traditional photos on our stoop and then a lovely welcome ceremony at the school. The kid was back in his element. Also, look at these giant feet.

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Arthur had his first day on Thursday. He seemed a bit more reserved, but once he entered his school building, he was off and basically forgot to say good-bye. For shock effect, he requested a short hair do the day before. I cried. But he was happy, and I totally love it, too. He now looks like a 15 year old.

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Per our tradition, we celebrated the first day of school with donuts.

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Both boys had spectacular first days. Julian is happy to be with his friends again, and he likes his new teachers. Arthur was giddy and bouncy and told me about all the details of his day. I could tell he was so happy.

Here’s to a new season in our lives. I can’t quite put my finger on why I’m feeling so sentimental right now. I just do. The boys are growing up so fast. Too fast. But it’s also exciting. It’s fun to watch them grow, to see their relationship deepen, their interests develop, their personalities shine. I just love these creatures so much.

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And today, as if to reassure me that my boys still had some baby left in them, this happened. We’ll be ok.

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Life Stuff

This summer is fleeting. No summer has ever felt so fast, so short. I’m not ready for the boys to go back to school!

We’ve been enjoying a good mix of fun, busy days and lazy days riding bikes around the neighborhood and hanging out at the playground. The boys have been playing with their friends a bit, and of course Julian is busy reading. He’s finished the first two books of the Wimpy kid series and is now on his third. He’s also still keeping his journal, every night. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about a day 30 years from now when I find his write-ups of our summer and our life together, and I smile.

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Last week we hit the beach with our friends. Beach days are my favorite.

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This week we went to Central Park. We had lunch at the Ballfield Cafe, where we were happy to see the waitress we met the last time we were there, a couple of months ago. She also remembered us and immediately produced a little drawing Arthur had done for her from her wallet. I love little reminders like this in our everyday life. Reminders that there are good people everywhere, that we are connected even though it doesn’t always feel like it. Look at these faces. There is good in the world.

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There’s been plenty of ice cream and bike riding. I just can’t say no to ice cream.

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We’ve hung out with friends, BBQed, eaten about a hundred peaches, and played plenty of Legos. I’ve been reading a lot. The boys are besties and spend most of their time together Ghostbusting, Ninja-ing and whatnot.

I’m sentimental for many reasons. The boys are growing up. This beautiful summer is flying by. This season in my life is so good. I wish I could bottle up some of these moments for darker seasons – or, you know, winter.

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Weekend Edition

This weekend was another good one.

On Saturday I had the urgent need to buy a basketball. So we did.

Then we had brunch at Alma, one of our favorite spots.

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Then we had to work off all that delicious Mexican food by playing basketball in pretty humid temperatures. It was so fun! But then we were thirsty. So we headed to Brooklyn Crab for beer and lemonade.

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It pains me to say it, but I think Brooklyn Crab is over. At least for us. It’s been our favorite spot for years, but now it seems to also be everyone else’s favorite spot, and that makes it too crowded and annoying. So we need a new secret spot!

I started Sunday with a morning run. Over the Brooklyn Bridge, through Chinatown, and back home over the Manhattan Bridge. It felt so good! Perfect weather, too.

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Then we were off on our bikes. We headed to Astoria. After 10 miles on the bikes, we arrived at Astoria Park Pool. We’d been wanting to check out this giant pool for years, and yesterday we finally made it. It’s New York’s oldest and largest pool!

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After all this activity we were hungry. So we headed to the Astoria beer garden.

Then we let the kids play in Astoria Park while we did this…

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After ice cream, we snuck home on the ferry.

It was a good day! A good weekend!

Each day ended like this: my boys reading in bed. Not much makes me happier than that. Julian has recently discovered the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. Last night he read a good 50 pages, and I had to tell him to turn off the lights. I love that so much.

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Meanwhile, Arthur cuddled up next to me and asked, “Mama, why didn’t you want me first?” I was confused…but then I realized, he meant why wasn’t he born first. I told him that he was already such a big boy and how he fits so perfectly into our family, but he replied, “But Julian is always bigger.” And so it is. Sometimes it’s hard being the littlest, I suppose.

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