The Truth about Lying

Well, we’ve made it to five without Julian ever telling a conscious, well-thought out lie. But now he’s discovered the convenience of lying, and it’s kind of hilarious. This boy may look 100% like his father, but he has his terrible lying abilities from his mother.

You may not know this about me, but I am a horrible liar. I can’t tell a lie even if it’s well intentioned or if it makes a situation easier. I mean, I can try, but no one would ever believe me. I am not convincing.

Julian, in this respect, takes after me. Two days ago the boys were playing kind of rough on my bed. Arthur cried out in pain, and I asked them what had happened. Julian immediately offered an elaborate story of how Arthur started falling and Julian pulled him by the arm and must have hurt him that way. Arthur looked confused and said, “No! He bit me!”

Shamefully, for an instant I didn’t believe Arthur. First of all because I’d never heard Julian tell me a lie, and secondly because he doesn’t bite. But then I realized Arthur doesn’t have the capacity yet to make something like that up.

So Julian stood in my kitchen, and I told him to look me in the eyes. “Did you bite your brother?” He averted his eyes and looked to the floor. “No.” That’s when I knew. He looked guilty. I had to ask two more times and then he finally caved.

Yesterday, in more disgusting boy-like events, we were playing together in the living room when Julian got up and disappeared into the kitchen for a minute. When he came back I asked him what he had been up to. He said, “I just looked out the window.” Right, kid. Nice try. I asked him two more times and assured him that whatever he could have possibly done was most likely not as bad as the fact that he was lying to cover it up. I was right. He had wiped a booger on my kitchen wall. Boys are so gross. And this one is an awful liar.

We’ve been having many conversations about the truth and lying. I tell him that even though he might get into trouble, he should always trust me, that I am always on his side, and that lying about something he’s done wrong just makes everything worse.

But a little part of me is getting such satisfaction out of him being such a bad liar. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with next.

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