So this is going on 40…

I’m no longer 35. As of Thursday, as so many of my friends enjoyed to remind me, I am closer to 40 than 30. So, yes, whatever. My birthday. Wasn’t it fun when you were a kid and your birthday was this magical day that was long anticipated and celebrated until you couldn’t eat any more cake?

Well, 36 is not like that.

Arthur got up three times in the night for nonsensical reasons I don’t recall…bathroom? I should put cream on his foot? I forgot to give him a hug? Who knows.

My husband had to leave extra early for work which didn’t leave time for a family breakfast. Or even coffee together. It left me the joyous task of getting the boys dressed and out the door in time for Julian’s school drop-off. Julian was unbearable that morning. The worst he’s been in such a long time. It was actually kind of mind-blowing how terrible and annoying he was behaving.

When I dropped him off at school, I quickly squeezed him and said “bye!” and tried to run out the door before anyone could greet me with a smile. I couldn’t even pick up the phone because I was in such a bad mood that I didn’t want to expose my lovely well-wishers to, well, me.

I dragged Arthur home and let him eat Cheerios on my bed while I just laid there and frowned.

My lovely friend took me out for coffee. When I learned what she and my other friend had gotten me for my birthday, I just started sobbing. Because it was the one thing that I wanted the most in that moment: time away from my children. On Monday, I’ll be visiting the Great Jones Spa. I am so excited. Bonus: The New York Times weekend edition for 12 weeks! In paper!

So that brightened the day considerably. As did my nap. The rest of the day was normal stuff…school pick up, speech therapy, kid shenanigans. Then three incredible flower bouquets were delivered to my door. One of them: a flower cake! Our lovely neighbor florist had made flower cake for me. Have you ever seen anything like it?

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Jeff came home early, with cupcakes and candles, and the boys serenaded me. They gave me lovely presents. And some love. And then the boys went to bed early, and Jeff and I went on a romantic dinner date in Manhattan.

So, while the majority of my first day as a 36 year old totally sucked, it was a great reminder that there is light everywhere. And I felt loved, although it was hard to feel it at times through all the yelling and whining.

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