Yesterday I took my children to the playground and offered them a special morning snack, graham crackers. They each got one, and then – when they came back begging for more – they each were given another half. Julian threw a fit that he didn’t get another whole one, so I made his half disappear really quickly. Julian tantrumed (this is a new verb, by the way) all over the place. Arthur, meanwhile, ate his cracker in silence and then broke the last little bite in two and tried to give one to his brother. I intervened, because said brother was still screaming at the top of his lungs, and no way in hell will that screaming mouth get a cracker.
This morning we had a hard cardboard roll that was leftover from the boys’ easel drawing paper. I offered to turn it into a rocket ship for Arthur, because our blessed first child already has a fancy cardboard roll rocket ship. What followed was, of course, a massive meltdown because of all the holy injustice in the world.
My poor, cardboard and graham cracker deprived child.
This morning – because yay it’s a new day! We ran errands. I was hungry and wanted a croissant, and because the boys were so good and I am a goddamn pushover, I bought them each a small cookie at the bakery. Julian immediately said he’d also like a piece of my croissant. Because SHARING is CARING I gave him a piece of my food. And then I ate the rest. When he realized there was no more croissant leftover for him, he trantrumed. All over the grocery store. He screamed so much that I just stopped talking to him and pretty much didn’t acknowledge his existence for a good while.
As I was running groceries up our stoop, Arthur sat next to his crying brother and started wiping away the tears. It was a sweet moment amidst all the drama. A stranger stopped to inform me that “girls are so much worse.” I told him that I have a hard time believing that.
Anyway. Tomorrow is the first day of school, and I will celebrate by eating many WHOLE graham crackers and croissants while playing with cardboard spaceships.