I’m one week in with this solo parenting gig – with five more days to go. Also I’m two weeks in with the “No Yell Experiment.” I’ve only slipped once, so I consider it a success.
The boys definitely miss their Papa. Julian asks for him several times a day. He has no concept of time and expects him to be there every morning when he wakes up. We will all be so ready to welcome him back home this weekend!
That said, I’m doing my best to make these two weeks fun for the boys and fun and easy for myself. We’re spending as much time as possible outside. I hardly ever say no when Jules asks for ice cream. Because guess what? I want ice cream, too. There have been cookies and lollipops and pizza dates with friends and with Uncle Brian. Pancakes at the diner. And trips to every park and playground in sight. The weekend was tough though, and I felt lonely. I miss my partner in crime.
Yesterday I asked our babysitter to come, and I had some time in the morning to get out and clear my head. I went for a run all over Brooklyn Heights and down to the piers at Brooklyn Bridge Park. I worked out, drank fresh juice, and bought lots and lots of groceries for these boy children who will not stop eating. I listened to music. I rebooted.
Here are some of the things that make me happy right now:
- iced coffee
- shady playgrounds
- watching my boys play together
- working out
- watching Julian protectively put his arm around Arthur as he was approached by a bigger kid at the playground
- hugs and kisses and brothers holding hands
- my bike
- sprinklers and water fun
- playing board games with my boy
- watching Julian play with old friends and make new ones
- friends, in general.
- the last bits of baby that remain in Arthur. His dimpled hands and milky breath and chubby thighs.
It’s so easy to get sucked into the daily grind, the bickering, the mundane tasks that repeat themselves over and over again, the incessant talking and never-ending demands, feeling overextended and not appreciated enough. And yada yada yada, boo hoo. I’m fucking lucky. Tomorrow will be another sunny day, and I will have two beautiful, healthy children to wake up to. And there will be coffee. So pretty much nothing else matters.